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It's m-u-s-e-u-m, not m-u-s-e-a-u-m, right? 29. You’re actually grateful when an illness coincides with your schedule. Thank goodness it was the weekend and I didn't have to miss class! 30. You either have a million things to do or nothing to do – never a healthy medium. 31. You've got a grad school speech ready for when you meet new people: your field, what you study and what you plan to do with your degree. 32. You actually begin to miss having homework during holiday breaks. 33. You feel like a fake and wonder when the other members of academia will catch on and kick you out of the program. 34. Constantly checking your email and, when nothing arrives, demanding someone nearby double check the Internet is working. It is. 35. Your basic human priorities that were once eat, drink and sleep are now replaced with papers, books and due dates. 36. Your thoughts are no longer simplistic – you only have two response modes for conversation: verbal thesis or completely tongue-tied. 37. You give yourself pep talks in your head and one day you catch yourself doing it out loud, in public. 38. You're constantly trying to come up with clever comebacks to annoying questions regarding grad school. Isn’t it expensive? What kind of job can you even get with that degree? 39. Speaking to people outside of grad school becomes difficult because you now use words that are not applicable to daily life, like “hegemony” or “praxis.” 40. Over-thinking has become a hobby of yours. 41. Anxiety ensues when you’re on break because you keep feeling like you’ve forgotten to do something, even though you haven’t. 42. Rewarding yourself with mundane tasks once you’ve completed a paper, like putting your laundry in the dryer. How exciting! 43. Planning your day around one simple task or errand that you never actually accomplish. I guess I can do that tomorrow... 44. You now find weird or unfunny things hilarious, like making up ridiculous hypothetical situations involving other students or your professors. 45. Trying to figure out if you aren't eating regularly because you’re broke or because you’re too busy. You settle on the fact that it’s a combination of the two. 46. You feel fantastically brilliant one moment, which is short-lived because you feel dumb-as-a-rock the next. 47. The professor you want to learn most from seems to dislike you and only you. 48. You realize you have so many books overdue at the library that the fees require a payment plan. Then you remember the ridiculous amount of debt you’ve acquired to attend graduate school and have a mini panic attack about both situations. 49. Trying to figure out what a dissertation actually is while you’re trying to work on one. You then console yourself with the fact that nobody else seems to know, either. 50. Realizing your work is valuable and the process was worthwhile, even after you’ve been repeatedly critiqued, rejected and denied by countless scholars, publications and departments you respect.