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Friendship Deal Breakers

Who needs enemies when you have friends like these?

Elizabeth Hoyt

April 15, 2013

Friendship Deal Breakers
In high school, your friends were the people most similar to you out of the people that attended the same school you did – a “luck of the draw” situation. For some, this was a good thing. For others, not so much. One of the best parts about college? You actually get to choose your friends. Friends are supposed to encourage you to be yourself, bring out the best in you and make your life better. So, while it’s great to strive to get along with everyone, it’s more realistic to pick and choose your close friends.

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Here are some characteristics that can seriously impact a friendship. If you see your new found friend exhibiting these qualities, you may want to run for the hills. [break] • Gossips: Everyone’s guilty of a little gossip now and again, especially with a very close friend. However, there are some people that take this to the next level. When you begin to notice a pattern that everyone’s name is on your friend’s lips, pay attention. Think about it: if they’re constantly ripping into everyone, chances are they’d do the same behind your back.

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• Belittlers: Friends should be there to build you up, not constantly tear you down. You know the type, always knocking you down or making you the butt of jokes in front of others. Honestly, who needs enemies when you have friends like these?

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Value the friends that treat you with dignity and respect and kick those that knock you down to the curb. • One-Uppers: Here’s the issue with one-uppers: they can never be happy for you because everything becomes a competition. As a result, it makes it pretty difficult to share any information about your life with that friend because they unnecessarily throw down the gauntlet at any given moment. A true friend shares in your joy and is able to be proud of your achievements without taking their own into consideration. • Close-Minded: While everyone is entitled to their own opinions, everyone should also be entitled to express them. Just because you don’t agree with a friend on a particular issue doesn't mean you can’t be friends, but the way it’s handled is important. A good friend should be able to accept differences of others; otherwise they’ll be dragging you down their rabbit-hole of narrow-minded judgments. Learning about different opinions and values helps people grow so, unless you wants a friend that stunts your roots, show them the door. • Self Involved: Friendships should be give and take. If a friend constantly makes everything about themselves, perhaps you should reconsider the friendship. It’s one thing to take turns sharing – that’s kindergarten 101 – but when every situation seems to morph into a therapy session, it’s time to make plans with someone new. It’s likely that your college friends will be your friends so life, so choose wisely!

What are your friendship deal breakers?

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