Hi I'm 17 yrs. old and I'm having so many problems with my baby daddy in the begninng of our relationship I was a b***** with him I was always talkin s*** to him.  Sometimes I'll even hit him when I could'nt control my anger and he'll hit me back not hard though. Then I ended up pregnant He started flirting and in front of me on the bus. He told me he only knew me on the weekends when I'll sneak out of my house to "chill" with him. I told off some girl once because she started rumors that she was his girlfriend he ended up believing her when she lied to him and told I was saying stuff about him. So he texted me saying I wasn't his girl. A while after that my cousin went up to the same girl for the same reason my baby daddy told my cousin nobody was going to hit that girl and that he rather stop talkin to me before he stops talkin to her. Since I was pregnant from him and I love him I would always forgive him and believed everything he told me especially when he tells me he loves me. Now our daughter is a month and a half he stopped flirting and I do everything he says I even ask for permission for every little thing I wana do. Just two weeks ago I found a pic. of his best friend who is a girl in his phone but its only from her shoulders and up I told him to erase it but he keeps on asking for what. And now he don't let me hold his phone anymore because he knows I'm going to look through it. It gets me mad because I stopped talking to my best guy friend for him and he can't even erase a pic. of his friend I'm not telling him to stop talking to her which I feel like I should.  I put up with alot for the past year and a half and I really do love him but I'm confused should I stay with him or not?

TAZvento,

First of all you need to ask yourself are you happy? If not you need to leave him alone, I understand its hard and you love him but from what you are writing does not respect the woman you are. A man that loves you respects and listens to your thoughts, feelings, and requests. He celebrates every moment spent with you in his own way. You are 17 years old and should not have all these issues, I think you should reevaluate your situation with and really ask yourself is this life you want to live for the rest of your life? Do you want someone who's secretive? Or do you want someone who is open and inviting to you? There are so many men in the world that are waiting to love and care for you and you have so much time to find a man. Education should be the main factor at this point, you have a child that needs a healthy and nurturing environment, its time to put the trivial things behind you and start building a life for you and your child. If you love your boyfriend as much as you think you do you will let him go so he too can do some growing. This life of ours is not a dress rehearsal, meaning this is it! The decisions you make now affect you for the rest of your life, I know you are going to still do you no matter what anybody says, but still, do yourself a favor and just ask yourself..... ARE YOU HAPPY?

Well I am 24 and I just had a child. I would say leave him alone. It is not worth it. He loves himself and although you love him. He does not appear to love you. Pray about it. Get away from him for a while. Write a list of all the things he has done then decide. Save you self the trouble and drama. It will only get worse. You deserve and can have better. A man that loves you will consider your feelings and adore you only. You can get a good man. He isn't one.

girl you have to leave him ino its hard because he's ur babys dad but o well that is not a healthy relationship and you want your son/daughter to see a healthy relationship as they grow older dont set a bad example for them be strong don't let him boss you around don't ask him for permission to do stuff if you do that he's goin to think your weak and that he could do what ever he wants to you next time your going to go somewhere dont ask him tell him and if he has a problem witht hat screw him leave him trust me ino its hard im 16 years old and have a 3 month old son and my babies dad aleady knows if he  disrespects me wich usually is cusing at me  i wont talk to him untill he tells me sorry after like the 5th sorry even tho i want to hit him and punch him and everything i keep my cool because once you  are mad you make it worse and  you let him get to you and the guy got his satisfaction  dont tex him  call him or anything then he'll no that ur serious and he'll figure out he needs to change an if he loves you he will and if he dosen't love you he wont change and he wont care you just have to accept that and move on and you should not stop talking to your friends because of him just tell him to deal with it as much as a softy u might feel on the inside you need to harden up on the outside and make him see your not going to take his crap anything he does to you you go ahead and do it 2 times worse bottom line he's ajerlk you should leave him

This is worth reading I promise you. It may be blunt, but it seems like you need to hear it from someone. I wish someone had put it this way to me. I feel like every time I see a young girl go through this I have to say something. I had a very similar situation with my ex when i was younger. i was 14 when i met him and he was 20. I thought I was happy. I NEVER thought of telling my parents about him b/c i knew it was wrong. Of course eventually my parents found out about him after hed taken my virginity, slept with his ex girlfriend who he already had a kid with, got her pregnant again, went to jail TWICE while i was with him, choked me, lied constantly, slept at his ex's n lied to my face when I was sitting there when he walked out, bought me my first bottle of liquor and smoked me up for the first time. Thought it was great. Told me he loved me, he was gonna stop selling drugs, we were gonna be happy, screw my parents "lets have a baby" he said (this was before his second one). Bought a ring and everything at one point. I finally got to the point where I went to a psychiatrist on my own cuz i was cutting myself and thought i was going to kill myself. I cried every night. I actually friggin thought about having a baby with and marrying this dude. I almost went to jail for keying his car b/c i got so mad at him and for fighting with his ex girlfriend. And u know, long story short, after four years with him, he was in jail... I met a new guy. He was the same age as me, coming to college in the next town over from me, and i talked to him every night, eventhough he knew I had a boyfriend. when he finally came here for school we hung out all the time, and eventhough i broke up with my ex, i STILL cheated on this perfect for me guy. My parents loved him, i loved him, but it didnt matter cuz i was blind to what i thought was "real love". When my new boyfriend gave me the untimatum to leave my ex for good or lose him, i got rid of my ex in a heatbeat. See, i needed this new guy to get me unstuck from my ex. I always told myself id only stay with him until i found someone better. I got out before I was too old to have a life. I have an awesome boyfriend, only six months older than me whos also in college. he supports me, he pushes me to be the best I can be, and i him. WERE A TEAM. were there for eachother. THATS love. not a guy who gets u pregnant and treats you like ur disposable. You wanna know where my ex is now? in a jail cell. 18 months B&E, Dwelling, Receiving stolen goods and possession of marijuana. look it up inmate # 129770. google the RIDOC and put it in. That could have been my life. I made a decision not to settle. You wanna know where I am? home looking for scholarships while I wait for my boyfriend to get out of football practice. I went from saying fuck this semester of college and just working, to one of the top culinary universities in the country in one of the most competitive majors they offer and have 3.75 GPA. the highest ive ever had. And im happy. Are you happy? would you be asking complete strangers what to do if you were? you shoud not have to question a good relationship unless its holding you back from what you truely want. Dont you want better for your child? Be a kid as much as possible. They say your gonna miss it when your older... YOU WILL. be responsible, if not for you then for your child. If your calling him your "baby daddy" and you "love" him... what do you think hes calling you? When you find that love youll know. And he may love you, he may be your "soulmate" but soulmates arent always at the same points in their lives, they're not always compatable, and they dont always grow out of it or learn from their mistakes. Maybe hell learn when he loses you, maybe you were meant to change his life, not be IN his life. Maybe your relationship was supposed to be a step in his life so he doesnt do this to someone else. maybe YOUR supposed to learn something from this. If all else fails, be candid and HONEST with yourself, on one side of a piece of paper write ALL his good and all his BAD qualities on the other. you know what the answer is. dont you deserve better? To this day, Im not the same person. Im more jealous when my boyfriend hasnt done anything wrong, I get in fights with girls for talking to him, I have flashbacks of whats happened to me... They dont just disappear. the scars never go away, minimize them while you can. if your smart enough to ask for help, your smart enough to get out.

You are dumb to stay with someone who did not claim you one time. I have a boyfriend of 2 yrs and a 1 year old son. Just because you have baby does not mean he is your man and you have to stay together.If my boyfriend ever do something like that he would be  gone. If he has a pic of his best friend from the shoulders up  why do you want him to erase it.  You act like you he has a pic of her butt naked. You seem like one of those girls who will fight over a boy. Never fight over a boy.Your kind of childish and need to gorw up.Dont worry about him. Just take care of your child.