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How to Have the Worst College Visit Ever

How to Have the Worst College Visit Ever

Campus tours are great, but try to explore the college campus on your own, too.

Alison Graham

November 02, 2012

Two weekends ago, I ventured three hours out of “Naptown” (the locals’ only, affectionate name for Indianapolis) into deep Chicago traffic in order to be wooed by the almighty Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois. While visiting this beautiful campus on my first college visit, I learned many things. Here is some backwards advice on how to have the worst college visit ever.

While driving into the campus, through the quaint college town it inhabits, make sure to close your eyes so you don’t get to see the city of the college. Trust me; you don’t want to see anything of your potential home for the next four years. Make it a surprise for when you arrive freshman year! It couldn’t possibly influence your college decision that much.

Next, make sure you go straight to your tour, if you had bothered to schedule a tour anyway. You don’t want to get lost on the big campus and immerse yourself in the college experience. It is way too dangerous and exciting. Not to mention, the tour will show you absolutely everything you want to see about the college, insider experiences and all from the trained, smiling tour guides. To explore the college on your own would simply be disastrous.

Most importantly, do not talk to any currently enrolled students of the college. What do they know, right? In fact, I would suggest staring at them like they’re aliens, because they pretty much are. College students are an entirely different species and you don’t want to provoke them with questions, who knows what the consequences could be.

Worse than that, would be to visit the home of these aliens– a residence hall. I advise to stay far, far away from those. I repeat: do not visit a residence hall. The mere glimpse of a dorm will cause you to turn, run in fear and never to apply to college.

Also, make sure to avoid visiting the department of the major you are considering. That is the number one place you want to stay away from. The people in there do not have advice on your interest and absolutely no insight to offer. They will probably tell you that it was the worst decision of their life, and that would be a bad experience for any potential student.

On second thought, maybe you just shouldn’t go on a college visit.

What are your tips for getting the most out of a college visit?


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