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Stop Living in the Past

Change is a good thing.

Featured Author:

Ariana Finlayson

Hey there! My name is Ariana Finlayson and I've been chosen to be your FastWeb College Senior Student Columnist for the next five months. I'm from South Jersey (there is a difference!) and my school of choice is Hofstra University. Located on Long Island, N.Y., I'm about two and a half hours away from my stomping grounds and 25 miles east of New York City. I am one of the lucky ones who knew what she wanted to study from junior year of high school and stuck with it all throughout college. I wanted to change my major a bunch of times, but alas, print journalism and I made it out through thick and thin. My minor is in psychology--that means I only like it a little bit. At Hofstra, I'm a Resident Assistant as well as a Student Ambassador. As an Ambassador, I do outreach to prospective students who think that "the Hof" is pretty cool and might want to come here. I'm a staff writer for the newspaper, The Chronicle, and a section editor for the magazine, Pulse. My friend and I are trying to start up a fashion/beauty section within the newspaper to give it a bit of flair, but mostly I just write features. Pulse is the birth child of the Magazine Production class here, but really, any students can contribute. My spare time is spent going into the city for concerts, getting a great bargain at any retail store, tearing through my monthly magazines, eating ice cream with friends much too often, and working out. I love Apple computers and I abbreviate words way too often. Music is my best friend. Since this is my senior year, I'm sure I'll have a ton to share from both past and present. I'm totally psyched and can't wait to hear your feedback!

More articles from this author:

• Room(mate) With a View: Tips on Handling Roommates
• The Grass is Greener on the Other Side of the Quad: Living Off-Campus
• Land Great Internships for College Students

As a resident assistant (RA), I have to craft a bulletin board theme for my floor. My very first theme was “Finding Nemo.” Nemo was smack dab in the middle of the board, with the words, “Small Fish, Big Pond” surrounding him.

Looking back, it was my fave board that I’ve done. “Small Fish, Big Pond” speaks multitudes because everyone is a small fish in a big pond many times throughout their lives—whether it’s entering a new school or starting a new job. That brings me to the subject of this column: adjustment and change.

The three of us (that is, adjustment, change and I) haven’t always been such a friendly threesome. Our battle is bittersweet, because after all is said and done, I’m happy changes happen because they usually better my life in some way, and the adjustment period makes me stronger.

My past two years as an RA, I have always had a 12-person staff and the same resident director (RD). This year, Residential Life changed their title to Residential Programs, and with the new title came big changes. My former RD graduated and a new supervisor replaced her. The staffs of two separate buildings were now combined, and here I was, a third-year RA, now with a 24-person staff and a new director.

Overseeing a staff of 24 involves managing a lot of personalities and a lot of voices. It exposes you to different ways of doing tasks and new expectations. It means your previous reputation as a superstar RA is erased, and it’s your job to prove to the new director that you are still a superstar.

When all these changes first happened, I never wanted to leave my bed. Lying around all day listening to emo music was totally fine with me. But RA training rolled around and I had to turn off the music and leave my room.

There I stood, amongst 24 other people (mostly strangers) in front of a new supervisor. I wasn’t having it. I spent my first day standoffish and moody, still sulking about my long-lost staff and how things “used to be.”

After the second night of being around these people, I noticed that although we all didn’t know each other very well, people were still trying. What made me so much better that I couldn’t try? Sure, I was a small fish in a big pond, but so was everyone else. And I’d miss out on getting to know the other fish in my pond if I kept the sullen attitude.

I began listening to people’s conversations and asking them about their interests. I helped cook dinner and went food shopping with three other new people. And I went with the whole group to go costume shopping for our banquet.

I let my guard down for a bit, sucked up my pride, and subdued the stubborn person inside of me. The next day, I went into training with a better outlook, and a more positive mood.

My advice to you: Don’t avoid change. If change takes you outside your comfort level, embrace it. Try not to get caught up in the “how it used to be.” Of course, you’ll miss the great times in your life that you’ve experienced, but staying in the past can be detrimental to the potential people you will meet and the new experiences you may have.