The Hard Reality of Being a High School Senior

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The reality of graduating high school and moving onto college oftentimes poses some real fear for students.

Featured Author:

Jeremy Ogul

Hey, my name is Jeremy Ogul. I live in southern California, where I was born and have lived all my life. I am a senior at Vista Murrieta High School. My school just opened in 2003, so it's pretty new. My class is the first class to go through all four years at the school. Starting up a new high school has definitely been a unique experience. My school is relatively large in terms of population; this year I think we have about 3,500 students. My class has somewhere around 780. It's hard for me to imagine what life would be like in a school of 500 or something like that. Two different worlds … I live with my brother, who is 15, and my mom. My parents are divorced but I go to my dad's house pretty often. My dad is remarried, so I also have a step-mom and a sister, 8, from that marriage. Some of my favorite bands are Pixies, Nirvana, Weezer, Cake, and Depeche Mode. While I enjoy rock and alternative more than anything else, I have been known to be a fan of rap and hip-hop as well. From that genre I like Outkast, Black Eyed Peas, and Eminem. I am pretty involved at school. I play euphonium in my high school's wind ensemble. I am the drum major (conductor) of the marching band, a unit that includes almost 200 people. In the short amount of time school has been open, we have been able to build one of the top music programs in southern California. I'm also an editor for the student newspaper, which is a lot of fun. Some other interests of mine are photography, Español, literature, and politics. I hope you enjoy reading the column over the next few months as I tackle the challenges of the last year of high school!

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Every day I realize that I’m a senior. I know that probably sounds like a weird thing to say, but every day I have this enlightened moment where I say to myself “Whoa. This is my last year of high school. This is my last year of mandated public education.”

When I wasn’t a senior, I heard seniors talk about missing things about the place they live before they move, and this is something I’ve been consciously trying to avoid. I thought it would be easy, because the place I live is notorious for its lack of things to do. I’d bet that Murrieta is more exciting than a farming town in Nebraska, but if you only went by what you heard from the kids here, you’d think that this city is some kind of punishment. It really isn’t that easy to stop those nostalgic feelings from forming, though, even this early in the year.

Despite my attempts otherwise, I’ve started to notice things that I really like and that will be different no matter where I move. They’re usually just little things, like the Chinese restaurant with the sign out front that says “CHINESE RESTAURANT” that serves amazing orange chicken. Or the fact that every morning on the way to school I see hot air balloons in the distance over the wineries. Or just the fact that I have a comfortable house to live in. When I go to college, I’m going to have to live in a dorm. I’ve stayed in the dorms of three different colleges for summer camps and programs over the years, and the thought of living in a dorm room just doesn’t appeal to me.

It’s not just material things that are becoming apparent, though. It’s people too, like my family. Obviously, I’ll never lose connection with my parents, but after next summer it’s going to be different. It’s something that I look at with a good mix of apprehension and eagerness. I’ve always been excited to live in my own place, have a job, and earn my own money. But it makes me sad to think that this is the last chance I have to spend a lot of time with my parents and family. Have I taken full advantage of the time I’ve had? Of course it’s fun to think about being independent and responsible, but it’s not fun thinking I can never go back.

And it’s the people at school. I’ve mentioned before that we have a large student body. With the understanding that by June this campus will no longer be home to me, I realize that the people I see every day I will most likely never see again. I’m not really concerned about friends — we’ll find ways to stay in touch — it’s more the people who I don’t yet know. At a school of so many, I can honestly say that I see a new face every day. It’s a little weird, and it’s a little depressing. I’ve had all this time to meet as many people as possible, and I do think I did a pretty good job of it, but there are still all these people I haven’t met. What about those people? They’ve been there, but I haven’t learned from them. I have so little time left to glean whatever I can from them — stories, experiences, jokes, whatever… I have a hard time not seeing them as a missed opportunity.

Every day the future becomes more real. The idea of college and life after college becomes less of an intangible fantasy and more of a hard reality.

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ParisBallard

over 1 year ago

I agree!
aprilhalcomb26

over 1 year ago

This fall I'm going to be a high school senior and I find that I'm read for the year to be over. I'm so excited that I'm moving somewhere where I can have a fresh start. I'm moving halfway across the country. There are a couple friends, and my family, that I will miss, but this is something I really need. I've been stuck in the same tiny private school with the same people since elementary school. I'm ready to leave them and their grudges behind and start anew. I know I'll miss bits and parts of it, but I have a feeling once I get where I'm going, I won't even think about it.
coopesae

over 1 year ago

High school just ended for me, although I don't officially graduate for a few more days. This article is so true, though. It still hasn't really sunk in that I'll never go back to high school. I won't have to go to "prep days" to get my schedule, instead I'll be moving into a dorm and learning to live on my own.
The end of this year has also been pretty hard for a bunch of people in our class. We are pretty close-knit because we are the first graduating class and all were new to the school for our junior year when it opened. I've also been heavily involved in our school's orchestra, which is where this "moving on" aspect takes its toll on me. I have thought every day for a long time that it's almost over, but now that it actually is, I find it hard to accept. It just doesn't feel right to think that I'll never see most of the people I knew again.
I know college will bring all new opportunities and I'll learn a lot, but it can be hard to 'live in the now' when everything seems to either be reflecting on childhood or pushing into the future.
m_issaie

over 2 years ago

How very true.
I am a high school senior as well, and I've been thinking about the vast differences between high school and college as well. Its a bit hard to imagine not seeing the things I see each and everyday, however, I'm going to make my last year even more memorable than previous ones. I feel that it'll be really important to get to know even more people, because despite knowing many, its still a bit depressing not to know some of the people I would pass in the hallways each day.
For the time being though, I'm just focused on preparing for next year, my final year, of high school, and having a fun summer.

Good luck to everyone, and have a fun summer!
Scilla

over 2 years ago

That was beautiful...

I am a high school junior and think about what you just wrote every day ( even before I read this). It is a hard reality to face and just scary. I try to comfort myself by thinking that maybe college will present more exciting events, and that the day will come when I have to leave it too... By then high school will have become just a memory. It also helps that I plan on living with my parents ( I have severe seperation anxiety :) J/K. I think it's just eaisier and I have plenty of time to move away.

It's weird to know that we don't appreciate what we have until we have to give it up.

Thank you for writing this, Jeremy.
SusanE45

over 2 years ago

I'll also admit, this is going to be my senior year and I've already began to see things that I'm gunna miss and I'm not even in my last year yet. I just know that I'm going to be moving about 6 hours away and I won't be able to see a lot of my family cause even though I'm only gunna be halfway across utah, I realize that they are not going to always be there for me.
DannielleR14

over 2 years ago

May 21st was the day when it all hit me. As our principal presented us the graduate class of 2009, I wanted to cry for so many reasons. I was going to miss those that were graduating and I didn't want to face the fact that I was now, a senior, and only had a year left before my life would change forever. Somedays, I hate highschool, and can't wait to leave. Then again, it is familar and it's what I know. It's even worse when I'm feeling scared and excited at the same time. My guts feel twisted and I don't know how to feel. But you know what? Every year, millions of kids, do the exact thing I am dreading. They move on in the real world, into the future. Life goes on, and highschool seems insignificant to where they are now. Ha, now I just have to convince myself it'll all work out. Thanks for sharing. It helps knowing I'm not alone with how I'm feeling.
GinaT128

over 2 years ago

i'm not going to lie, this made me cry.
tomorrow is my last day of high school and, while i am happy that the summer is drawing near, i am feeling depressed because, like was said, there are so many people in my school i don't know. i go to a school of about 4,000 kids and i also see a new face everyday. then there are the people whose faces you begin to recognize, yet you nothing about who they really are as a person, or even what their names are.
i wish i could stay in high school just one more year...i don't want to leave!!
AmandaR575

over 2 years ago

I totally understand how u feel. I am a junior and last week it really sunk in that I only have a year left. Seeing all the seniors getting ready for graduation this year made me really realize how fast the last 3 years have gone by.
SaadiaA12

over 2 years ago

I'm trying to do that now, as a high school junior. I'm trying to keep in mind that a little over a year from now, I won't have the everyday relationship I have with friends, teachers, and the school community... it's a good way to truly feel grateful for what you have though, if you're able to really visualize and imagine how you'd feel once you're gone.. and even if and when you do come back, it won't be the same, because people change all the time and you do as well, and a lot of times when those changes happen independently, you'll find that upon return that things aren't the way you left them, and that creates a kind of separation. It's not intentional or anything, just how it is... happened with me when I left my old middle school. So yeah... I would just try to be truly conscious and aware of every day, every moment you spend in high school, and even in college and beyond... because no day will be like this one again, no matter how much you want it to or how hard you try to re-create it. Thanks for writing this... even though I'm already aware of what I'm probably going to be feeling, it really helps reading about someone's experience as they're in the moment.
SamanthaP6

over 2 years ago

i totally understand...i go to a large private school in atlanta...but i'm not sure i'm ready to leave home at all...i've been thinking about college for years, but the reality of actually leaving home and living somewhere else and not seeing my friends everyday has just recently hit me...i'm not sure i'm ready to provide for myself, especially considering the fact that my parents are relatively well off, a lifestyle i probably won't be able to provide for myself for several years after college...
BrielleB16

over 2 years ago

I know what this guys going through but it's different I live ina rather small town my graduating class is 25 people and I know every one in school and in town and I can't help but wonder if I'll ever come back and see these people half of me is certain I will and another is certain I won't. I will be leaving the only town I've ever lived in and going to a different state and man is that scary. It's wierd thinking of how I will no longer know what is happening to every person in MY highschool because it is no longer mine as of next week. I can't help but wonder if I'll make it out in the big ole' world