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Roommates 101
The roommate experience doesn't have to be awful--just follow these tips.
By Betsy Huang
I heard all the roommate stories before I started college. The majority of them were about how awful roommates were and how it was impossible to get along. I had a major case of roommate phobia before I started college and I was convinced that I would get a psychopath for a roommate. To my surprise, my roommate and I became best friends and we decided to live together again this year.
I know it’s rare that my roommate and I ended up best friends, but the truth is, everyone can learn to get along with their roommates. It doesn’t require that the two of you become best friends, or even friends at all. You just need to practice common courtesy. Here are a few helpful tips and guidelines:
1. The first thing you and your roommate should do is to sit down and write a living contract together. List rules for the room that the both of you agree to follow. For example, quiet hours, telephone calls, borrowing each other’s things, having friends sleep over, etc. Writing the contract together ensures that both of you understand what is agreed upon. Also, when one of you breaks one of the rules, there is written proof that the contract was violated, as opposed to the two of you arguing day in and day out about what the rules were in the first place.
2. After the contract is written, try your best to follow it. When you break one of the rules, apologize and acknowledge that you broke a rule. Don’t pretend it didn’t happen or hope that your roommate didn’t notice. They probably did, and they will get upset with you if you pretend it didn’t happen. When your roommate breaks a rule, be forgiving, especially if you’ve broken a few. Don’t hold grudges and keep tabs of when your roommate broke the rules and bring it up every time the two of you have a fight.
3. Be considerate. If you spilled something, clean it up. Wash the dishes after you use them. Don’t take things without permission. If you see your roommate studying, even if it isn’t quiet hours, turn down the volume. Being considerate is contagious and your roommate will do the same for you.
4. Communicate with your roommate. If something is bothering you, don’t expect your roommate to figure it out. Just tell him or her what it is and try to work something out. It is so easy to just stop speaking to each other when something goes wrong, but it won’t get resolved that way. Communication is the key!
I know that there are some bad roommates out there and these guidelines won’t help everyone. For those people, I recommend that you talk to your Resident Advisor as soon as possible and tell him/her your situation. Your RA’s are paid to help you, so don’t hesitate to go to them for support. They will let you know if it is possible to change rooms and/or roommates and what the proper procedure is.
Roommates are really nothing to be afraid of. They are people just like you. Chances are, even if you and your roommate are extremely different, you can still end up being friends. They are going to be a big part of your school experience, so make an effort to get along. And who knows? Maybe you will get lucky and you and your roommate will have a best friend for life-bridesmaid/ best man at your wedding-name your children after each other kind of relationship.
This article originally appearred on MakingItCount.com.
Tawnee19
4 months ago
I had three roommates my freshman year of college. One of them was completely obnoxious, and one was the complete opposite of me. But I became best friends with my third roommate, and we will be living together again for sophomore year. It is possible to have a really good roommate.
ZainabR6
4 months ago
This is a good and a helpful article. Thanks!
CharmaineK5
4 months ago
I haven't gotten my roommate assignment yet but i hope that we get along because half of college is getting to know people who are different from u. I just hope that whoever it is knows and respects not only themselves but others too.
EstefaniaG21
5 months ago
I'm still terribly nervous about having a roommate. TWO roommates to be exact. I'm hoping for the best outcome though. Thanks for this article it was extremely helpful.
kole08
5 months ago
Yea i tried to set ground rules with my roomate after a problem occured and she nearly flipped out on me and well we ended up not talking to each other for a whole semester and started talking during a tornado warning a few days before the end of spring semester!!
i think its a good idea it just depends on your roomate and her personallity!
AnitaL22
5 months ago
As an adult of many years, I do appreciate this article for my daughter who will soon be moving out the the family home. Being an only child, she has never had to share anything. She has her own room, TV, and computer. She is not a neat person, unfortunately, which causes me great concern. How will she adjust to sharing space, being more thoughtful of others, and pulling her own 'weight' around the new place? Thanks for the article. Great work.
DaizaM
5 months ago
I think this article is very helpful. These tips help guide you in all the directions of having a good rommy life style.
ErikaNichelleB
5 months ago
People told me that me and my best friend living together would cause our friendship to end, but it did not. Yes, our friendship began to get strained because we both have different personalities, but we are still friends. I plan on living with my other best friend next year. We only be sharing a bathroom though. I think that you should not live with your best friend your freshman year simply because you are adjusting and you find that little things bug you, but after that do what you want. I also had some not so wonderful roommates so I would rather have at least one person I know I can count on.
PendieuD
5 months ago
i think i will talk to my roommate about these and see how we can implement it.
KenyaS3
5 months ago
Its not that serious trust me. Most of the time you and your roommate won't even see one another once the school year starts up. I'm a 3rd year in college, and my first year, my roommate and I didn't make a contract! I mean if that legal mess is what floats your boat then great. My school mad people fill out surveys and matched people together according to their survey response. (Based on cleanliness, day person, night person, loud or quiet, shy or outgoing)
SierraM8
5 months ago
A bad roommate is not always a bad person. I had a roommate semesters ago who had completely opposite living habits than I did. Our situation didn't work out ,but you can avoid this by applying for a roommate early. If you plan on attending a small college it is even more important to apply earlier!
philip34410
5 months ago
i feel that if two roommates have agreed not to get on each other nerves then everything will be cool. A contract is a great idea but at the same time, it doesnt seem neccesary to me unless there are conflicts that need to be resolved.
CassandraS256
5 months ago
The contract idea is a good IDEA, but I don't think it is very practical.
RodolfoO4
5 months ago
this article is really stuped u people should take it out from hire
DanielleF421
5 months ago
Even though some may disagree with the contract idea i do not think it is a bad idea. Contracts are made all the time in everyday life (People sign receipts....thats a contract stating you bought the product and that you paid for it). I think if you do not know your roommate it is a good idea to at least talk about being considerate (for example if your roommate is already asleep in bed would she mind if you turn on a light to change into pjs or is it best not to get on his/her grumpy side and change in the dark?) this way you can get to know your roommate even better....plus is you do end up thinking your not going to like your roommate a contract is not a bad idea to keep eachother from pulling out each other's hair. ;)