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How to Deal if Your Parents Can't Pay
They may support you in every other way, but unfortunately, they can't always afford to pay.
By Kathryn Knight
April 21, 2009
Unfortunately, federal aid isn’t distributed on whether or not your parents want to pay for your education; it all depends on if they can. Parents have many reasons for not contributing to their child’s education: can’t afford it; it’s the child’s responsibility; sticky divorce. But your parents refusal actually hurts you more than they may know.
Regardless of your parents’ reasons, the federal government’s opinion is this: paying for a college education is your parents’ primary responsibility. The government will only finance your education if it’s impossible for your parents to pay up. So what should you do? Fill out the FAFSA. Good news: it’s not too late. Bad news: you’re already enrolled in school and still need to convince your parents to fill out a FAFSA.
Even if you don’t qualify for need-based aid, filling out the FAFSA automatically qualifies you for an unsubsidized Stafford Loan. Yes, “loan” may be an icky word, but a federal government loan is the best loan opportunity that you will ever come across. The interest rates are low, 6.8% on the unsubsidized Stafford loan, and the payment plans make it easy to pay off your debt.
Also, by filling out the FAFSA, you may qualify for subsidized Stafford and Perkins Loans as well as Pell Grants, which are even better.
Pitch the idea from the angle that they don’t have to help financially but they can do you this huge favor. Additionally, it’s not a bad idea to go to your school’s financial aid office and present them with your situation. Maybe they can pull some strings or talk good old Mom and Dad into helping. Still not budging? Check out these other tips on convincing your parents to help this one last time.
VictoriaC886
6 months ago
The article doesn't say a child should goad his parents into paying for his college education. It merely states that the parents need to fill out the FAFSA no matter what. There's nothing wrong with printing the truth, even if some people are appalled. The real problem is that the government has the "opinion" it's a parent's primary responsibility to pay for his child's education. That might have been possible once upon a time - my widowed mother paid for six of us to go because we had scholarships and/or lived at home - but it's not always true now and that "opinion" is what needs to change. Fortunately my daughter is attending a SUNY college, has scholarships, and is going to live at home. Freshmen have to live on campus ONLY if they aren't living with a relative. That makes her costs fairly manageable.
BarbaraE38
6 months ago
As a parent in my 50's the idea of taking on loans to put my child through school is unthinkable. While we are nearing retirement age (hopefully) our children are just beginning and will be much more able to repay a loan. When I went to college I worked and paid for it myself, without any loans even. When did it happen that parents were responsible for college? Should the government pay? NO, but affordable loans should be made available to anyone who wants to go to college.
DanielH735
6 months ago
If you earn more than poverty levels you won't get consistent aid. If you earn more while your child is enrolled they'll take back the aid and you'll exhaust your assets. Unless you've planned far
ahead and have some very good income and savings....4 kids x $50k+ per year = $800k
Parents and their children need to consider carefully the cost of education versus the type of career the student is interested. Let's face it...unless in a high paying career why saddle the parents or students with excessive debt. Look at where that concept has taken our society.
TylerV129
6 months ago
I find it appalling that you would print this article! I am a loving, and concerned parent that has other siblings of my college freshman and I am not able to help him pay for college at all! I am going to try and give him a little bit of cash each month to assist in his books but to come from the angle that we parents are just not concerned, or don't think it is our responsiblity, is absurd! I am living paycheck to paycheck and my son did all the right things(and yes, I work for higher education so I am not some deadbeat parent that did not fill out the FAFSA with him early on, guess what he did not qaulify, I make to much!) I make 20,000 per year working part time! You should be ashamed of yourselves! Shame on you for spreading this crap!!
ZacharyB408
6 months ago
I am on this site almost daily. First and foremost - I must say I am dismayed about the negativity of this article...when I got the email it said "Help your kid deal if you can't pay"...but when I went to the actual article it is "how to deal if your parents can't pay". It certainly swings it that so many parents have it "out" for the child's education.
I went to school, I took loans, I paid my way, and paid my loans afterward. My parents gave me money to go to dinner with my friends one night our senior year - that is it! And I appreciated every minute I sat in those classrooms because I KNEW that I had to pay for it.....Mom & Dad were not.
My son is a very high achiever, and got a very nice scholarship from his college, yet got nothing in local scholarships and is attending a relatively expensive school. We did the FAFSA - with a fairly hi EFC. We make very decent money however we are both self-employed and work is never a given - especially the way the economy is going right now. My husband and I opted originally to leave it to our son to pay for his entire schooling, but then revised our approach. We figured out "roughly" what it would cost for him to be living at home over the course of a year, the school allowed a 10 month payment plan, and we pay $300/mo for his college -- or $3000.00/yr. We have also helped out with some other incidentals (minimal) but refuse to give him spending money, etc.. He has a loan from his freshman year and will again this coming year, and he has to work for the summer months to cover his car insurance, books, spending money for the following year, as well as work during the school year to cover his incidental/spending money.
He has made University Scholar (on track for Summa Cum Laude) for both semesters of his freshman year, carried at 16 credit load each semester and worked about 20 hrs. per week......and guess what he has done some growing up.
Sorry folks - but I don't think it is our RESPONSIBLITY to pay for his education - nor do I think it is the Federal Government's responsiblity (it's still you and me paying everyone!!! that money comes from us!)....what I do think is our responsibility is to be sure he was raised to understand his responsibilities as an adult....and he is learning quickly that which he didn't already know.
I agree - our education system is weak and our higher education is WAY overpriced....but it is about time that people started taking responsibiliy for themselves. I am tired of it.
It broke my heart to watch my 17 year old sign a large loan last summer, but I heartened me to know that he was also turning into a man - with decisions to make about money, along with all the other follies in life. We started with nothing - was it easy - no; did it make us work harder and smarter and manage ourselves better - absolutely.
LacyG14
6 months ago
This article is a joke. Do you really believe that you can convince a parent to pay for their childs education? When they are living pay check to pay check. Each family has a different siduation as to why they are unable to help their child and the gov. does not take into consideration that a parent may be disabled with high drug and medical bills. They just say you as a parent should pay x amount of $. To make matters worse they will not allow a child to file without their parents. I say change some rules to fit the needs for our children so we as a nation can be better educated.
AllisonB786
6 months ago
I've dwindled down my savings account to pay for my daughters first year of college. I'm going month to month now. I did fill out the FAFSA and we did receive the minimal loan. I'm very frustrated at the others i heard that lied on their FAFSA and received up to 9,000 in grants and I so want to do something about that. I've looked on the internet and FAFSA website but cannot find anywhere to report such a horrible thing. I will not take out a loan against my home to pay for my daughters education. That's just too risky for me. As a parent I find this article very frustrating.
MichaelK726
6 months ago
To TabethaD4, you are better off than most. You have a child that depends on you for care so in the eyes of the governement, fill out your Fafsa and you will get a free ride. You will qualify as an independent student and therefore it is based on YOUR income.
To everyone else, AshleyH4607, you are correct. The problem is that education has gotten so expensive that even with student loans, it's not enough to pay for tuition, fees, and books. I raised my boys for 7 yrs on my own with no doubt they would go to college. I got married and finally had an opportunity to give them a 'nice' home and some of the basice necessities you want to give your kids......except the ability to afford college. They are stepping stones. One in college now, the other one in January. My oldest had scholarships to cover his first year.....now we are preparing for year two and our only option will be loans....and they still won't cover it all.
BenjaminN88
6 months ago
The truth is, there is no guarantee your child is going to finish their college education. I know people who have taken out student loans for their kids only to have those kids drop out of school and never go back. Now they're stuck payment $600 a month. Kids need to be invested in their own education. It gives them incentive to stay in and finish. Having said that, college needs to be more affordable. Paying $40k to go to a private college and getting a token $4500 per year scholarship from the school isn't going to help all that much. There needs to be avenues for people who are middle of the road who can't afford to help their kids but make too much money to be considered for federal grant money.
AshleyH4607
6 months ago
The big problem is that colleges are overcharging for an education. Plus many colleges REQUIRE that you live on campus your freshman year. So you are forces to pay high tuition fees AND room & board. It would save nealy $6,000 to live at home at most NC state schools. Kids are getting out of college and can't find jobs that pay anywhere near what they need just to pay back the loans - no matter how great you say the interest rate is. No comodity in our society has skyrocketed in price more than a college education.
VictoriaC1133
6 months ago
I do feel responsible to help my children out with their college education, they only thing I am concerned about is how deep in loans I continue to get into. As a parent what are we suppose to do when we get into bindes and can't pay off the loans? I am taking a chance on losing my home the roof over my children's head. How they decide how much money our children qualify for is beyond me. We strife to do the best we can to provide for all our children but making 50k a year is not enough to finish paying off my own student loans, mortgage and new loans for our kids. I just hope the government will help out us parents that are doing all we can to better our own life as well as our childrens'
TrevorB334
6 months ago
I sympathize with those students who are no longer connected to their parents in any way financially. I agree that, if I as a parent want to claim my college age child as a dependent and take the related deductions and credits, I should help pay for school. Unfortunately, I know too many young adults who have been on their own who are still tied to their parents finances relative to the FAFSA. This is one area in which the government definitely needs make some adjustments.
MargaretE119
6 months ago
You make it seem as if they beg that will change our financial situation! It won't! This article is very negative toward parents who are working their behinds to keep food on the table and a roof over everyone's head! I paid for my own school. I filled out the FAFSA. They think we can contribute a huge amount of money to my child's education. I can't! Don't try to guilt the parents.
AndrewL36
6 months ago
We filled out the FAFSA and what the government says we are capable of paying is not even close to realistic. Due to medical bills among other expenses, there is no way we could afford to put two through college so they take out loans. You make it sound like just a conversation can "pull some strings" into "making" mom and dad help. Don't deceive students in that way. Most parents I know would give an arm and a leg for their kids but coming up with tuition and room and board is just not in the cards. We don't live extravagantly and we budget .... and education is definitely a priority. We both have master's degrees but one of us cannot find full time work currently. This somehow has not translated into enough aid for our two students. I don't agree with the government - that it is the parent's responsibility. I paid my way through college and there are many hard working teens and young adults who do the same with no help from the government or their parents. It is wonderful if parents can do that - if we could, we would but again, not realistic. So, please don't make blanket statements like the article does, every family's situation is different.
AmyH1091
6 months ago
Compared with you guys here, I feel so lucky. My parents pay all my college expenses. I am second year in college now. Each year they spend $25,000.00 on me. Education is their priority. Both of them have Master degree.